Anonymous asked:

Stop reblogging your own selfies, you self-centered cunt nugget.

Daddy Platypus Answer:

waluiqi:

kayliesaurusrex:

gambleorcs:

I was trying to explain to my grandma what being bisexual meant and saying that I looked at ladies butts and she was all
"You’re not GAY everyone checks out ladies rear ends" and my sister was like "I have never wanted to look at a ladies butt"
Later my grandma called me and was like “I THINK I MIGHT BE A LITTLE GAY”

BEST GRANDMA STORY

(via kingryan-risenfromtheashes)

during the school year: eats every single edible thing i can find

during summer: idk i think i ate an almond today

blastortoise:

it’s weird how straight boys will find out that a girl is bisexual and then think that girl wants to fuck them with another girl. And if they find out a guy is gay they think that guy wants to fuck them.

No one wants to have sex with you. You are are not cute. At all.

(Source: blastortoise-chan, via kingryan-risenfromtheashes)

scuzzmutt:

[SMASHES INTO YOUR BEDROOM]
[SHOVES YOU INTO BED]
[AGGRESSIVELY TUCKS YOU IN]
[THROWS STUFFED ANIMALS AT YOU]
[SCREAMS A BEDTIME STORY AT YOU]
[KISSES YOUR FOREHEAD]
[BACKFLIPS OFF YOUR MATTRESS]
[RUNS OUT OF THE ROOM]
[SLAMS THE DOOR]

(via dinofarts)